Sunday, June 18, 2017

Fridays update

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm late on that update aren't I? 

Not much to tell, I called the insurance and asked them about pre-approval for MRI.  Guess what?  They are NOT needed - nope, not at all, not needed.  I can just GO.  So has the local MRI place called me to schedule anything?  I waited all Thursday and all Friday just to see if they would call.  NOPE. 

SOOOO I sent in a message to the Mayo to see if I could just get this done there as it would be "real time" as it were - they can do the scans and be done.  I have also sent a message to the group that will be seeing me on Wednesday - I didn't have the epiphany to do that Friday early enough, so they were all out of the office and I got an auto reply that the team will be back at it at 12am Monday.  I'm sure that's not the case, but hey, I put it out there... either way apparently there is no sense of urgency by anyone here to get me in and get me scanned.  If Mayo says get it done locally I will start that search then - I have heard good things about the MRI center in Macon, so we'll see how quickly I can get into one of those.

So, PLUS - calling the insurance was easy to do, they were helpful and nice and sweet.  Bonus!  MINUS - this local stuff is for the birds.

Other than that I have to say that the whole experience of a colposcopy was really not a big deal (sans the shitty news I got).  I don't know if the lack of pooping for DAYS afterwards is just my snail slow system or what... but we're SLOWLY getting back to normal in that department.... as normal as I apparently ever was :)

On those thoughts too - I have been reading - probably WAY too much on what to expect after this surgery... Yeah, yeah, I know... DONT do that.  But I did the same thing on my ear cancer surgery.. remind me to share some thoughts on THAT and breast exams too... BUT I keep seeing what I may possibly NOT be able to do anymore and well, I hit overload this morning... most days are good, today, not so much.  I was sitting on the porch with my coffee and seeing more and more of what others are talking about with sensitive bowels, this and that they can no longer have... and it got to me.  Normally I can have a few hours on the back porch first thing and NO ONE is up.  Today Butch was up... so I had a witness to me losing it.  Sigh.  I hate having witnesses.... well, in person, virtually, I don't care.  Really - folks need to be able to research and find someone/anyone who can relate, who will tell them straight up, "yeah, I now sh*t like a racehorse on diuretics if I eat xyz"  THAT part is what I'm looking for and there is like ONE other woman who has a blog about anything similar and her case is different in the where/why of her surgery, but I do get a kick out of reading her blog! Colon Cancer Chick, Rectalcancermyass, and My colon Cancer; semicolon are a few I'm reading just to "prepare" myself mentally for what could happen.

Why torture myself?  Well, again, it's like the ear thing... I knew I was getting it done, it WAS going to happen.  I didn't know what I was going to face, but damn it, I could get an idea of what SOME of the possibilities could be... then maybe I could get my head wrapped around the possible... and also be quite pleased with what they DID do and the results.  I choose to believe that is what I'm doing right now...not that it doesn't scare the PEE outta me... but I guess this is MY processing way.
So, that leads me to family, kids and dealing with everything.  I know I am mentally preparing for this, but I feat that by acting like it's not a big deal I may have done a disservice to the kids.  I'm just hoping I haven't broken them.  Poor Liz is dealing with her dreams being bent here recently with her not getting to follow through on her dream plans of going to Africa with Peace Corpse and she's having a rough time dealing with that HUGE life change and whammo, oh, by the way your mom has butt cancer... surprise.  Sort of a shitty deal (I REALLY need a new word for how crappy...
9yeah, I'm doomed) horrible, awful this is)   Both to have it and to have to present it to them... but it is what it is... that was what I needed to do Friday was find some counseling for BOTH kids to help them handle this...

So breast exams, ear cancer, you name it... I got the call from the Dr's (Gyn) office Friday that my breast exams were back and they think they are benign - just see us back in 6 months.  I had just gotten my 6 months poke/prod on the 9th or there about (that Friday).  For those that don't know, this is what I have been dealing with for, oh, five years or more (probably more).  One breast will be in rebellion, then the other will join in on the fray... this time it's George (they are Left: Bill, Right: George)  I have no idea why those names, but these are names from college.  Leslie may have to shed light on just WHY they are named.  I'm sure she'll never be able to tell you where the names themselves come from :) but one never knows.  Well, Bill had been the problem child for YEARS, he's on the sorta clean bill of health, but George has joined in on the fray this past 3 exams.  Fun, fun, fun.  So they tell me this and I'm still in sort of shock ... and thinking in the back of my head - is THIS who you tell, "Oh, by the way, you may want to note in my records I have Rectal Cancer, and you MAY want to look at that a LITTLE closer" .. but my brain and my mouth were NOT on speaking terms when that call happened and I basically said, "Ok, thanks" and hung up... all the while still having my brain in overdrive screaming you MAY want to tell the rest of the story....  yeah, never did....

My thought processes on that are this, I'm SOOO glad I went to the Pavilion for my exam this time as they are now part of the hospital system and are on the DVD I will be sending to Mayo.  THEY will see these and know there are visits and they will probably follow up on that one.. need to make a list of things to bring up to them.

Which brings me to ANOTHER thought... Liz is going as my 2nd to Mayo... is that really fair to her?  Should I get someone else to go?  Let the family be family and not care takers?  Is this good practice for her as she wants to be a Dr?  Well, not really as she wants to be a medical examiner, and thanks, but nope, nope, nope.  I'm not going there for a LONG time... maybe missing a few pieces when I get there, but not going there just yet, thank you very much!  I'll ask her again later today if she really does want to go as my 2nd or if she wants to pass that to a stranger who may be able to deal with that part a little better than family... I tried to pry into her head on her plans, thoughts and all that for the future as she's gotten in the job hunt behind the power curve with the Peace Corpse not telling here she wasn't going until 30 days out... so very wrong of them to string her along that long without more warning...  Sigh.

Anyway...that's where we are as of today... and I moved my laptop to the table outside - it's AWESOME OK a bit glaring, but really, blogging while sitting in your swim suit and the breeze - can't beat this!!  Nope, no pictures as I'm on the laptop.  Then I get on a bunny trail trying to find my webcam on this thing...had to download something to install it.  So... called Dad to wish him a happy Fathers Day while waiting for that to download... squirrel!  ha!

Angela came out to visit just as I got the webcam loaded :) 

She's going to go mow the lawn (and NOT in that hoodie!)  She only lasted a few minutes before she bailed to go get some shorts on to come back out in the heat...

and with that I'm getting off the computer and restarting it - then getting back in the water as my suit is almost dry and it's getting more than a little steamy out here :)

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