Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Day 13 post op

Ok, I think I need to give up on the idea that I will KNOW what healing looks like.  Just when I think that things are looking good in my eyes, they change and I think everything looks worse.  Weird.
I used to think the side looked really good, but now that I can zoom in on the side, it's ify at best.  There are just spots that to me don't look healthy, then they will surprise me and pink up and look good again. 

I've heard from a number of folks and I'm always surprised to hear that they had something similar, if not worse done to their ear/neck/lip and I have had no clue about it. I guess until you see it in action, you don't know it has occured. I'm a very visual person and looking through the internet on skin grafts for skin cancer were far and few between with NO detailed steps of "this is what it could look like during the healing process." That's what I wanted to see... I want to see what is "normal" what isn't. Is this right, is this wrong, should it look like this and if it looks like this, what is the true story. I like to be able to look something up and know for sure this is what it should look like if it's healing right. That the gross parts you are seeing here and there aren't the end of the world, that it will heal, that it will look better. Just somethign that would show me that at this stage of healing, you're almost on target. And if I'm OFF target, just how bad it is so I can prepare myself for what the outcome will be. I'm still not sure, looking at everything on the websites. I see some shots that look healthier than mine and there is talk of debriding the dead skin off of those... so I wonder at 2 weeks post op - is this normal.
I guess I'll know tomorrow morning as that is when I go back to the doc and they can tell me if this is normal, if I have to have any of the scab removed. If it's all healthy, or only partially healthy. And the countdown continues.
 Case in point, the back.  Just a few days ago, there was a VERY large dark red spot on the lower half that had me convinced that it was necrotic and dead... now looking at it, it's looking better.  Go figure.  My chiropractor will insist it's the light therapy that he gave me on Monday for healing.  Could be, could be.  I won't discount anything at this point.  It ebbs and flows.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Healing continued...

This view looks so promising... everything is looking healthy and happy.  Well, happier and healthier than it's looked in a while.  This is at day 11 post-op.  Sunday.  After a nice shower and a rinse as I have been told to NOT rub it.  Just let water rinse down on it - period.  Do not disturb the blood supply being created.  Yes Sir, I will do my best, Sir.  I have done just that - no touchy.  I have been putting on the antibiotic cream religiously and to keep it out of my hair, a very loose set of band aids overlapped with the sticky edge from the underside one cut off.  this way none of the adhesive is anywhere near the actual stitches.

Even with all these precautions, I have a sinking feeling that the other side is the horror of what can happen when grafts don't go well.

I keep thinking (hoping):
  • It's not THAT bad
  • It's getting better
  • It may just be a process of the healing
  • Really, there is some pink skin in there
  • There's not that much blood on the band aids (almost daily)
When I look at the band aids after sleeping and know things are just not going so hot with this site. 
Things are NOT healing as they should.

I guess I just have to hold out hope that all things will work themselves out and that time will make things OK with the back of the ear and be very grateful it's the back and not the front that is looking this rough.  It could always be worse, right?  The whole thing could have died and looked like hell.  Right?
Be happy that it's looking as well as it does.