Saturday, August 5, 2017

Optifast week 6

Maybe the universe is trying to tell me to shut up about my negative feelings. My last post "poof" disappeared. Sigh

I just said I was mad. Mad at the world this week. Mad at my body and the fact that I'm NOT losing weight. I've not budged in two weeks. The worst I've find is a spoon of rice and turkey burger in cream of mushroom - a SMALL spoon mind you. Pinches of things. Just tiny smidges. Tastes of salsa. Really can't add up to more than 5 calories each. No worse than sugar free gum really and I barely chew that anymore because that tooth is NOT fixed. Another point of anger for me.

Everything is just ticking me off. I forgot to get my stupid urine test last week too. Dammit

I'm mad at the work paper trail issues. The frustration that abounds.

I'm tired of having to beg my children to pick up the friggin slack and clean the house they live in and TRASH. I'm just MAD.

Mad I keep getting woken up at the crack of dawn because someone can't stay on their half and kicks or pushes. WTF I can't sleep in anymore.

Just friggen mad!!!!!

So here's the disappointment

Yeah there is a difference from the start. But not much from last week. Sigh. I won't quit. I'll just be pissed for a bit

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Small blessings

So today I have had it brought to my attention that I have had a LOT of time to adjust to the idea of this surgery. What it may mean to me with a possible ostomy. With dealing with what that will mean to me. With being able to put in paperwork to be able to telework to save time with no pay. Time to absorb. Time to adjust. Time to process.

There are a LOT of folks out there who don't have this. I have come to the realization that it's been a silver lining in my waiting timeframe.

Small blessings here and there. Little but important things.

So, yeah, waiting has been hard, but a blessing just the same.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Optifast week 5 and 5 days. I Cracked!

Today I cracked (literally?) and ate my emergency meal in place of a shake. Two eggs and 1/2 cup O.j is allowed. I substituted salsa (same calories). 5 weeks 5 days. Good a friggen'nuf. Back at it for the last two shakes today and the next two weeks. I am so over shakes. Movin to Australia so I can have veggies 😂