Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Ok nobody freak

I have a cyst about the middle of my back. It's about dime size and not growing. It's noticeable as a kid found it while scratching my back. Hum.

Ok I admit I'm freaking a little too. I went to the dermatologist today. They took a BIG core sample (smaller than an eraser width, but just barely, and about that long too). It's solid - nothing to drain. She said "it's probably nothing".

Yes, it's off to pathology with it! I find out in two weeks what it is.

Good gawd if it's not one thing it's another!!

So the 9th I find out what it is.

Where's my Gold star???

(Fixed the title from old to Gold!)
Today I 💩'd without noticeable blood.

Yes, it's a victory for me. I'm drugged to do it but I will NOT complain about that fact!!

I found my balance of:
Morning:
1 Stool softener
Fiber
AfterNoon:
1 Stool softener
Fiber
Bedtime:
2 stool softeners with a light laxative

This seems to work without disturbing the locals (aka no bleeding!)

Let's see if this holds for a week or three!!


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Tuesday trauma (ok, not really)

So today was another visit to Mayo. I chose to go solo on this trip. I could have had company, but really, why?  It's a long drive south, for a few minutes here and there and more waiting than anything.

I also chose to go surface roads on the way down. It was a nice change of pace. I went pretty much directly south east. Straight shot. I also finished the book on tape a co-worker loaned me. It was a Jack Reacher book 12CDs. It had a nice twist at the end. I actually was already on disk 7 from the last trip down 😀  I finished on the way home at Tifton. I really need to get a few more of those for drives. They're great distractions.

So, the doctors (nutritionist) visits. I'm right on track for surgery. They will substitute NOTHING. I'm warned against doing the emergency food because they need me to lose the weight. I'm right at 25 pounds lost over four weeks. The thought is that I will be at the desired BMI by the time I get to surgery. They're happy with the progression and she sent a note to the doc stating as such. AND I don't have to see her until I'm down there for surgery. Sweet!

Personally I'm over this. I told the nutritionist it's too much sweet for too long and I'm having a hard time choking down the 5th shake of the day. She warned me about that too as dropping that last 160 calories may do more harm than good as the 800 calories is supposed to be the tipping point of not going into starvation mode and allowing me to lose still. I seriously call bull shit on the whole thing. I'm already in starvation mode.  

Sigh. So no weight change since Sunday. Not shocking as mine at home is no clothing at there I'm IN clothing 😜 Thinking they would NOT want me to strip in the halls - bwahahaha!

And so it continues for another three weeks!

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Optifast week4

Unofficial weight loss is 24.5 lbs. let's call it 25, shall we?!
So the reason folks don't notice is this:


Jammie's and clothing are the SAME week. Week 4. Clothing adds bulk. Hum. Note to self need more slimming clothing but these are comfortable!!

You'll see a stark difference in these shots too as far as clothing not showing the losses





BUT we all know the truth. If I maintain current trend I should be about 50lbs down for surgery. That's good. Much less risk for me. That's a plus. Much easier for the doc to do what he needs. A plus for him.

This week has been a BITTER and ANGRY week for me. These yahoos on line who are spouting colon cancer is a lifestyle and that's the only reason you have it are in my last nerves. I have seen hundreds on line saying they were runners, athletes with GREAT eating habits and they have cancer. But these yahoos keep spouting "change this", "change that" and you won't have reoccurrence. Just makes me mad 😡. They are NOT researchers. They are not scientists if so then the world wouldn't have cancers in healthy individuals EVER. Grrrr. Oh well I walked away from that conversation in there.

That and I haven't pooped. Yeah enough to make anyone an angry person. Are you super happy to read about poop? I have pooped once (maybe twice) in the last almost two weeks. I am drinking over 64ozs of water a day. Sometimes I may be right at the limits but honestly I add more ice to my shakes than they say to, so I get more liquid there (and it's watering down the sweetness as well). So I don't think it's a lack of liquids. And I'm peeing a LOT so I'm well hydrated. More so than I've ever been in my life! But no poop.

I went to the pharmacist and laid it in the line. Gave him the diagnosis, the tumor Location and not wanting to do anything harsh, but needing some relief. He gave me stool softeners with a laxative and some probiotics. Ok.

I had a very loose passing with blood on day three of the softener/laxative but only after I took three instead of two the night prior and I paid for it with cramping and general discomfort for the day....and blood not a lot, but blood. Remember I haven't had blood in normal life situations since the 5th of June after popcorn. So this doesn't make me a happy woman.

So weigh in is actually when I'm full of poop too - ha. I'm so over this already and I have a YEAR or a while lifetime to deal with these poop issues. Ugh. What's a girl to do? "I just wanna go poop, I just wanna be normal again!" Said in her BEST Private Benjamin voice (if you're young, rent the movie!!)

And let's do talk about this diet. I'm OVER it. Tooooooomuch friggen sweets!! I know, I know, WHO says that? Hum a woman who has had nothing but strawberry, chocolate or vanilla ANYTHING in FOUR WEEKS!! Yes, I'm gonna yell at that one. I'm tired of sweet!!!

I have been horrible in the last week. I look at shake number 5 and think "oh hell no" and go to bed instead. Really. I just can't hang any more.

Tuesday is the day I see the nutritionist. I was going to cancel and ask to do the blood work and weigh in here but decided I need to TALK to her. I'm looking at can labels lately and thinking I can eat a whole can of green beans for 60 calories. A WHOLE CAN!! I know, I know nutritional value. Bah. I'm over it!! I can't become malnourished in four weeks I'm sure!!

So. That's where I am. I think this qualifies as the "emergency" that they told me to eat the eggs. But even then I look at the Orange Juice they want me to consume with that. Uh, no!! The calories in that would give me FOUR tablespoons of pico instead. Suck it lady!! Tomatoes are fruits, right??

Monday, July 17, 2017

Oncologist appointment

I met with my local oncologist today. I like him. I think we will be a good fit. I also saw the facilities. It a nice place. I also got my first follow up with him for after surgery 7 September.

I'll actually start chemo before I'm even released back to work from surgery, so I started the follow on paperwork for telework for the duration. And so the adventure begins.

Here's to seeing how I feel once this gets started. He said to have one one drive me until I find out how I will react. Fair enough.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Day 21 - Optifast.

OK. I'm now at week three.
Well, not until tomorrow morning. But this is a full 21 days on liquid diet.

Is it working? You betcha. Can I tell? You betcha. Can others? Nawh, there are no comments from anyone at work.

2 weeks weight loss: 13lbs (their scale)
3 weeks weight loss: 7.5lbs (my scale)

Yes, that total is 20.5lbs

And this week I'm STARVING!! What the hell!??? I don't do bad in the morning, but at night? Horrible!! Today I had 7am, 11am, 3pm, 5pm, 7pm, 9pm and starving at 9:30. Sigh. Not giving in JUST yet. Not truly emergency mode just yet... adding a Fresca. Maybe that will help then just go to BED!!

Anyway. Here is the results.


Ok I can NOT see the difference from the front. No way, no how...just don't see it unless it's my BOOBS shrinking. I mean come on! Not the boobs!! Honestly bras are fitting a little different, so sadly they may be shrinking 🙁 boooo - hahaha - kidding. Who cares.

The NEXT is where I have to admit the difference.


Yeah there is a difference. I am NOT sucking in. Nope. Not at all. Just standing there all relaxed

May have to go to the gym to exercise the arms there. While I still can (for a while)

So there you have it.

Oh and I read my lab results on my tumors. It was a little scary with thoughts of a DNA something or other. There is a bit more to have them look at as far as the heredity factor of what's going on in there.

I went back and looked at the initial paperwork.
3 polyps removed
1 polyp ablated
1 cancer tumor identified
Next colonoscopy
1 polyp removed
1 biggie identified
Next colonoscopy
Identified biggie removed
1 MORE polyp removed

Yeah. The total is 8. EIGHT. One of the 8 is really a tumor. 1 precancerous. Yeah, something is going on in there pathology report says:

Interpretation: The results of the IHC analysis suggest the presence of normal DNA mismatch repair function within the tumor. Thus, the likelihood that this individual has an inherited colon cancer syndrome due to defective DNA mismatch repair (HNPCC/Lynch syndrome) is reduced but not eliminated.

These results reduce but do not completely rule out the possibility of defective DNA mismatch repair within the tumor because approximately 5% of cases with defective mismatch repair do not show absence of protein expression by IHC. These results also do not exclude the possibility that this individual's tumor is due to an inherited defect in another gene not involved in DNA mismatch repair. A significant fraction of clinically defined HNPCC cases (30% or more) do not have defective DNA mismatch repair as the underlying genetic basis of their disease.

Additionally, we cannot rule out the possibility that this individual or family has HNPCC/Lynch syndrome because this tumor could represent a sporadic occurrence. If there is a strong personal or family history of HNPCC/Lynch syndrome-related cancers for this individual or if this individual has multiple tumors, consider microsatellite instability (MSI) testing on this tumor or a different tumor to further evaluate the possible role of defective DNA mismatch repair for this individual or family.

CAUTIONS: Test results should be interpreted in context of clinical findings, family history, and other laboratory data. A genetic consultation may be of benefit.

So... how's THAT for messed up? Sigh. So. We I assume they are doing the MIS testing they indicated and we will seek out the genetic consultation and see what this means for MY girls!! I guess we won't borrow trouble until we hear more, bug we will investigate for sure!!