Monday, June 5, 2017

And it's official...

My butthole has fallen out before Butches.

What's that you say? TMI?

Well, read no further then 'cause it's on a get graphic!

I go to work this morning dreading the whole Monday routine...little did I know hat was in store. Sunday we had gone to he movies and enjoyed popcorn immensely. (Read into that tubs two tubs for three bodies)

I had a bit of a rumble in the tummy so made a quick walk to the potty thinking al that fiber was coming back to haunt me. Yep, it was. I sit down and glance down to bright RED BLOOD in my undies. Now folks, I have not seen this sight since 2007, so saying this was a shock puts things mildly. I did some "checking" and yep, not the vjayjay, the rectum. What the????? Nope, nope, nope this does NO HAPPEN! Stand up and enough blood is in the toilet I'm now officially in a panic.

So, I walk back into the office, tell my cube neighbor a cryptic "I gotta go, I may no b back" and off I go to the ER. Breathing the whole way repeating, "it's nothing, really, it's nothing". Telling my brain that NO, you may nit turn around and go back to work like nothing is wrong. I text my boss that I have a "bit of a medical concern", and that I was leaving nothing more. I call Butch, tell him the skinny in a message (yeah, he was getting ready for work, so hadn't answered).

And there I sat all day. I got an IV, EKG, chest x-ray, CT-scan and butt-swab (only thing they really did butt related)...however nothing conclusive, but also nothing they could see to cause them concern. Hum, Ok. Yeah, you guys say it happens all the time, but not to ME, thanks.

Also heard the code Blue in the CT room after I got back, and a lockdown situation. A man was brought in by his wife after another man shot him fun times at the ER eh? I should have left my door open 😜

So all that and I'm told to follow up with my primary care provider uhm, that I haven't been to in three years 😎 whoops! What can I say? I'm pretty darn healthy fir the most part. I self referred myself for my long overdue colonoscopy - ya think? I even tossed in my 50 year checkup....yeah, yeah, I know...I'm not 50 yet - heeheehee

No comments: