Friday afternoon wonderings and reflections.

I have been at my new job for 5 weeks now ... I still wonder what I was thinking when I took this job.
I know what I was thinking, I really do. I was thinking it's a great opportunity to learn something new and see a different perspective on the base. And has it been? Well, yes, a very different perspective on the other side of the base, the Aircraft side.. it's a whole new world. Lots of new terminology. BUT it's super slow right now. Really? Yes, really. My workload isn't funded right now... it's not even started. So what have I been doing for FIVE LONG WEEKS you ask?

Before I had computer access - reading books.
After computer access: Reading regulations, reading instructions, reading books on line through work (typically motivational books) and listening to a LOT of conversations around the cubicles, through the walls and going to others meetings... watching their processes. None of it is foreign, yet ALL of it is foreign. New bosses, new processes, new procedures, new templates... same old thing. Same old program planning, same old workload planning, but new documents, new folks to talk to in order to get access... so for now I'm sitting back and watching and being shockingly and weirdly quiet for me. I don't talk most of the day. I may say good morning to my direct cube mate that I can look in the eye, but other than that, I converse via computer with most others. I don't go to lunch, I don't even leave my cubicle unless it's to go to the bathroom - which is quite a lot (I'll explain that in a minute) and/or to take my garbage out to the dumpster once a week on Friday afternoon.

The bathroom comment is sort of funny as some days it's for the obvious poop issues, but most of the time it's because by STAYING in the office I'm working on 1) eating better by fixing lunches at home and packing them in and 2) the cause of all the potty trips - drinking MORE water! Yep. I have switched to drinking tea in the mornings (with rare exceptions) and have been bringing in a 32 oz. thermos full of water a day. The goal is to drink ALL The water and the additional 16 ounces of tea in the morning... and most days I'm successful in that effort. Thus the reason I get up to pee a lot. I have tried to convince myself to walk all the way upstairs to the potty up there and then circle down to my office giving me a little walk during the day, but when I have poopy issues (which todays feels like it's the ONLY day I haven't had poopy problems this week) I go to the one next door.

Other than that, I'm in a hurry up and wait mode and I'm trying to emulate my good friend Barbara and wait it out... not go barreling in and volunteering to do things I'm not asked to do... and just waiting for it all to come to me. Now that's not to say that when Jessica asked me to help her with some items I didn't JUMP at the chance to help her with them and draft up 19 documents for her package. I did... I really did... then it was done in a matter of days and there I sat with nothing to do again... sigh. Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted.

On the poopy front, well, things were progressing quite nicely for so long I forgot what it was to have a bad night! It had been a month or so since I really had a middle of the night "oh, no" thought and find I needed to change the depends... but last night was one of those nights... and I was up a few more times as well with urgency after that. BUT for the most part I am adjusting fairly well to life without a rectum to speak of. What I HAVE discovered and have known since the beginning is that gas HURTS a LOT!! Yeah, the colon does NOT expand like the rectum does and when gas builds up there is nowhere for it to expand and your anus gets a little MAD about this and lets you know that it's NOT happy with the situation. AND since you cannot trust a fart anymore it's a matter of clench and wait it out then rush to the potty to make sure all is well. I have only had to change pads at work 1 time in the last few weeks, so for me that's a win too as for a while there I was changing pads out once a week.

On the poopier front is poor Angela. She had an incident of blood from her rectum on Sunday ... didn't say a darn thing at 4pm when it happened the first time, but called at 11pm and Butch and Liz talked to her while I was blissfully sleeping in the bed...zzzzz. Butch did wake me up and fill me in and I called her and talked her through the trip to the ER and sitting and waiting... and waiting and waiting and waiting. I was almost going to go up, but she discouraged me as it would take me 2 hours to get there and she was convinced she would be out of there by the time I could get up there... it was midnight before she was at an ER and checked in.... so I stayed awake most of that night texting her and checking up on her.... about 3am I fell asleep for a bit, woke up at 4am, texted her for a bit more.. fell back asleep again... then woke up back up at 5am and she was getting discharged soon... I should have gone up there as they didn't even do a CT on the child but said they didn't feel any hemorrhoids or fissures.... so they just sent her on her way. Sigh. Even with a history of her mom being diagnosed with rectal cancer. Gads - what are these ER docs thinking? Yes, she's young, but that is NO protection from cancer... let's be sure folks!! I went to work, she went home and went to sleep.

We then discovered she's 18 - I know, how could we miss this fact, right? What does that mean? I can do NOTHING for her anymore as she is an adult. So, there were lots of conference calls over the week to get a call into Tricare offices here on base, to get her an appointment or a referral to a colorectal person... and although painful in time constraints, it went fairly smooth with me being on the other side of the line walking her through the process. So, the call to the appointment line did justify a call directly to the nurse, then the nurse called her back, talked to her and passed the news to the doc, who gladly wrote the referral. We all know he would see as much as the ER folks would have - although he could have insisted on a CT first.. but didn't. Whew! Referral put in and the waiting for that is 24 hours. Now that is done and it's with the doctor of choice in Macon - he's highly recommended and the one I will be going to in August for all my follow up appointments - once we get that all ironed out... anyway THEY are switching to a new health care system and won't know anything until Monday about when they can get Ms. Angela in to be seen... so we wait. She hasn't had the amounts of blood again, but a few "spotting" times... so she's still rattled... and honestly, so am I as this is how I found out I had cancer, assuming it was "no big deal" as that is what the ER told me too... this stuff happens is the reaction they had... yeah, I don't believe that anymore.. you bleed once like that, you go in and get it checked. PERIOD.

So there you have it... life, in all its glory and frustrations! And we wait... and worry and try to put it out of our minds... but on a positive note Angela is now home from college for the week. She can move into her new place on the 8th, but will hold off until the 12th so her sister and I can help her move! Smart girl!