Craft room clean out

My craft room exploded!! Mom came over and we moved all that we could with MULTIPLE trips to Angela’s room. The top shelf on the panorama you can’t see is empty as well. Then I pooped out. I need to get a few more Iris boxes to get papers more organized then cull through everything I have and craft my brains out for 20 years - hahahaha

Yeah. I’m a craft hoarder. Sigh.

Then I tired out. Done for a while. Time to sit and relax









More tomorrow

updates on a poopy week

Sunday’s thoughts were (found this in draft today) 

Well, I keep wondering “is this it?”  I know, weird. I wondered and worried so much. I have lots of odd cramping and pains but the doctors didn’t pay any attention to them in hospital, so I’m assuming it’s just body adjustments. (Yeah, this was the colon firing up to FULL production, heaven help me!)

Thursday Day 1 was rough, but doable. A few accidents, but go be expected. Night one was horrible with lots of wake ups and accidents. But being prepared was good and saved my sanity. 

Friday Day 2 was OK just a few times with mad dashes and limited accidents. Night two was accident free however gassy which is weirdly painful in the rectum, not the body. 

Saturday Day 3 I took a shower with the gaping hole in my gut. That’s a weird thing. Having a hole in your body that isn’t stitched and it open and weeping. I put gauze on it daily and tape it. Well, Butch tapes it. 

I was just feeling “off” that whole weekend. 

I had more accidents at night...more up and down at night...more clenching in the day to no avail. I feel a bit demoralized at this point. 

Tuesday’s doctors appointment - they put me on gapapenten spelling optional. It’s for the neuropathy in my feet that is moving up my legs. Maybe it’s a case of me not noticing it earlier, who knows. They said it was weird. It should not progress at this stage. Ok, so explain the two toes on the right foot now being numb. Which, by the way as of Wednesday they are better. I started the prescription Saturday.  Who knows. The doc wants to think it’s spinal related. I will leave it up to them to decide. They’re looking at vitamins levels, everything. We shall see. I’m ambivalent at this point. (Too worried about pooping in a diaper for life)

So..this is Day 7 (Wednesday) and here’s the skinny....

The hole in my stomach puts me off...which is weird because I’m usually ok with this sort of stuff...the gaping hole? Not so much...it’s very strange for me to not find this fascinating but gross. 

Then there’s the bowels...the other shoe dropped...it wasn’t as easy as first assumed. The nights are horrible lately. I sleep right through my warning signs. Then wake you a mess at 3am. Last night I walked around, cleaned up, sat down, laid down, moved around in an attempt to empty my bowels before going back to bed. An hour later, I lay down, get the urge, get up, lay down, get up, lay down. You get the gist...I finally lay down...no urges. Drop off to sleep only to wake to another mess at 8am...ugh. This has been the last few nights... the silver lining is in sleeping really well and well rested. I’m realistic and wear depends to bed nightly. I’m optimistic, however, not stupid. 

I need to find a way to get my gut to shut down at night. I’m OK with purges during the day and even the occasional “whoops” as well...but night time should be more sleep, less worry about pooping myself. 

So, aside from that, I’m not a shut in. I did go to the movies with Mom Tuesday after a doctors appointment. We saw Peter Rabbit. Cute movie. I have gone to the grocery store.  Ah, thrilling exciting life I lead, eh?  Regretfully anything more and I do need to know where the bathrooms are ;)

I’m trying to keep my chin up, but there is just something about this portion of the treatment for cancer that’s just wrong. Yeah, I’m cancer free but on drugs for neuropathy in my feet - which seems to be working, thank you! And I poop in diapers. Yeah, thrilled that this is “all over now” as everyone keeps telling me. I do try to be nice and not scream at them. It’s not over... it’s just in the not so glamorous stage of pooping paints, blood tests quarterly, CTs every six months and a colonoscopy in a year (silver lining it’s 1 then 3 then 5 - could have been annually).  So yeah...it’s “over”.... for today....