Nothing new. Same loss. I think I’m going to lose more over the next month or so as the drugs dissipate in my system. I can now put three wraps on my pony tail. Used to be two and done. Now two and it falls out. Ah well. It’s only hair. Right? The girls are my barometer if I need to go short. So far they are saying “nope, not yet”.
And today this was my LAST disconnect!!! I turned in the pig bag as well. No more pump!!! No more sleeping with earplugs. Yay!!
My mind would NOT shut down last night. Why? Not a clue. I’m freaked out that chemo is over. I’m freaked out that although chemo is done and one surgery is done that this isn’t the end of this saga. I know I’m not alone in this thought and fear. A lot of folks on line voice the same fears. I didn’t expect to feel this way... but there it is.
I’m freaked out. Is this over? Is this the end?? Here’s hoping!! Right now I’m curious as to what the chemo has done to the boobs. I have been on the 6 month hit list for YEARS. I wonder if there has been cancer in there the whole time. It’s hard to know.
I asked the groups of colon cancer had been linked with skin cancer. All said NOPE. Then a study came up saying that YES there is a link. Well shit! I had a partial ear removal on the right side about 10 years ago. And another spot that wasn’t what they “thought” was cancer that, surprise. It was.
So there’s that thought in my pea brain now. Yeah. Fun stuff eh? I get a feeling we’re not done with this ride. I hope I’m wrong, but thinking I’m being overly optimistic.
So now we count in years and scans. Each clear scan is a good thing. And so the second half of the journey begins.
