We have tiny hairs!!

6 weeks and two days after chemo and I do believe we have hair growth from all the “thinning” that I was warned of! That was a hell of a thinning. Over 50% of my hair fell out! I can feel little short (I mean unmeasurable short) hairs up there!!!

Pretty much no way to photograph either. But Liz looked and thought she could see some little hairs at my bangs line. Woo hoo!

Excerpts from an update letter to my sister:
Re question in my upcoming surgery being in two spots...
My “stick it back together surgery was done with the resection. They pulled out 32cm aka 12in of rectum and sigmoid colon. They then disconnected the remaining colon from the transverse colon and splenic flexure and bring it down to make my “new” colon connection. They then did a baker closure (side to end like a T with the bottom being the puny 1” of rectum to the top of the T leaving. Lip to one side or the other (assume coming in from left and crossing over the rectum as that’s the “normal” direction that shows on the pictures. So the right side of the top of the T is coming in from my remaining colon and the left side would be the “pig tail” that will be the new “holding spot for stool”.

**not on my letter to my sis is the last few days my colon had decided to “play” again. As I’m sleeping Super sound and not emptying in the middle of the night I don’t know if I’m getting “overflow” from the top of the ileostomy to the bottom that leads to the colon. Hard to tell BUT so far I can hold it and get to the potty but it’s TINY amounts and hard to hold. Not looking good on my holding capacity in the future :( oh well we shall deal with that as it comes. **

So that’s done. They gave me the ostomy to let all that heal in there over what was to be 6 weeks after chemo but now will be more like 12 thanks to that pesky gallbladder and the healing they want me to have after that experience.

The hernia will be repaired when they do my reversal. They will see the intestines back together, drop it in the hole then sew up the hernia. Let’s hope they can pull that off. They won’t use mesh, so thats good. BUT mine is 11x5 inches I’m sure. It spans from mid section to the middle of my side. Sigh. Bigg’en!! But I did send a message to the surgical team to ensure they would be repairing it at the same time and if not they would arrange a tag team to have someone come in and do it after the ostomy repair.

So. Yes I will have much (two spots) scaring in my intestines and will have to worry about scar tissue (which I seem to get adhesions easily) as there were a lot when they went in for the gallbladder. So there is that concern. Me? I’m going to assume I’ll be grand!! I can eat ANYTHING I want to eat now. I eat nuts and salads, although I will admit salads scare me in large quantities so I just do small salads for now.

My bowels are going to be a challenge for a while as they have been unused for 7 months (8 by the time I have surgery) AND my body doesn’t seem to wake easily after surgery. I have to pass gas to go home after surgery. I have
Heard the first month is a living hell without that rectum. I have bought a bidet and have A&D ointment on hand already!! Oh and wipes.most folks say they poop 30x. A day the first few weeks then it should slow and you should start getting a little more control but expect that your new normal will NOT be normal. The first year or two I should be prepared for many an accident and to be prepared at all times as urgency is a bugger with little control.

WORSE case is that I don’t get control and my life is hell and I chose to go back to an ostomy - but this time odds would be that I would go colostomy and they are easier to control and output more solid waste. Not the case with the ileostomy which at best had oatmeal consistently if I’m lucky (I’m not lucky!) I’m also horrible at eating small meals multiple times a day. I eat a late breakfast - lunch. Then dinner and some snacks. After Christmas is going to put pounds on me. I got candy. Yum!!! I’m eating it all. Oink!!! The good news is I still can’t eat large amounts. I THINK I can. Case in point I ordered three tacos from Tacos and M ore (soft ones) and I ate 1.5. I have lunch for tomorrow either way!! Bonus! I always have left overs in the fridge!! Ha!!

In other forefront’s I have scheduled my hair cut and possible color. We shall see if she thinks my hair is healthy enough to color or if it would be good to highlight tips at least!! Not until the 22nd to allow time to color if she thinks it’s a wise choice. Mostly looking for cover up to the balding (spots on the back of my head and the bottoms -aka around my ears and back of my neck). I was reading blogs they are all saying hair growth starts at 4 weeks post chemo. Mine isn’t growing. No peach fuzz at all :(. Lizzie looked. I’m now 5 weeks post chemo. So here’s hoping it will start soon. And here’s hoping it’s curly! 😜

Oh, no change after removal of gallbladder so she was dead or non/functional at best. Poor thing. Good for me as I note NO difference other than no more attacks. Yay for that! That pain was worse than labor AND my LAR!! Not that I thought either was horrible. Again tough old bird! Ha! Hey if I take oxy the pain is horrible!! LOL.

I’m gaining strength and getting over a lot of the affects of chemo. My hands hurt less in the cold. I can eat ice cream. I don’t have bloody sinus buggers anymore. My feet are sort of numb but not bad. They do have very thick skin right now. I do have cold sensitivity handling things but not as bad. It’s slowly going away. I notice it less. Taste buds are recovering. Energy is gaining. Not as fast as I would like but I don’t do anything because I work all day BUT I did move out of my bed and to the dining table this week. That’s something new!! I got dressed and left the house to make hair appointment- been putting it off for weeks now.... not sure why. So I’m progressing. I walked Sams one last weekend AND Target in the same day! That’s a lot. Granted I rested between them. :)

So that’s my story.

Closet cleaning.

So today was the day I decided to clean the closet. Mom came over for moral support and to “judge” fit and function of clothing.


This “pile” is the slacks to have taken in. Maybe. I’m debating as I have Many pants in the closet that are “good enough” so I may hold off on these for a bit. Who knows. They may end up in consignment.


This BIG box is full of consignment.


Bag of winter tops that can’t go in just now as they are taking spring.






The sad thing is my closet is still chuck full ... the only evidence of clothing removed is the empty hangers on the bottom... ok and very few “play clothes”

Not pictured is the two bags of trashed paint clothes. I’m not going to take pictures of them in the garbage. Nope. Feet up chilling out now!!

So. I have a clothing basket full of who knows what I’m here too that needs to be “gone through” as well. I’m sure I have a spring box out in the garage as well. Crap crap and more crap.

Time to cull some more.

Post I put in my “tough chicks” group

Not feeling like a tough chick today.

Feeling like a marshmallow all week. Paperwork paperwork paperwork to get covered for work leave. New boss and the unknown if that have me stressed. THEN I bit the bullet and went to the hairdresser today to schedule my appointment to cut and color. Or just cut. Depends on the health of my hair. Then I got tears eyed on the way home. WTF? I have gone short before why is THIS causing tears??

I sometimes think it’s because NOW I have time to think to ponder. There is no more planning the attack. The attack is over. There is only a reversal to test for and accomplish. So why the freak am I so SAD lately??

Finally sinking in?? Who knows. But I’m an emotional basket case this week.