And it's done.

Waiting to be called back... nerves getting to me.

Apparently it was 5 1/4 hour surgery to get it all. But they got it all and I got the bonus poop bag. It's kinda gross with green output or I would take a picture of the area....
We shall spare you the clear bag view.


Obligatory shot with the poop pillow. She had been with me all night in multiple places keeping things tucked just so.


My view of the sunset before I passed out! Soooo tired


And off to bed!

This morning still the same amount of pain. But I got to order breakfast. Low fiber soft diet but FOOD 😋

I ordered scrambled eggs, white toast and grits. Yum!!

Surgery time is set

Show time 7:10am
Surgery time 9:10

Colon prep.

Shoot me now.

I have to say the silver lining is there is NO way I'm not sleeping well tonight!! Something about colon prep to wipe you OUT and I didn't nap after my early morning excision. I was to worked up on nerves...

Yet another silver lining. There I'm FINALLY clearing out after being constipated by Optifast. 🙂

Morning at the beach

Up before sunrise. Hour drive north to Amelia Island. Why? To have a wooden pier. Ok. I'll bite.














It's dark out here!! Sea shells underfoot.











Butch was dedicated. Came and set up... took timed photos.


Me!? I set up too. I got a blanket and a coffee with my last shake because as of 8am I am on clear liquids. So - one last shake before it starts.





Selfie!! I had fun wandering the beach. I'm in some old mans photos or movie. Hahahaha. I at least did a dance past the camera :)


Toes in the water and the sand. Ahhhhh











There's the sun!!




















Dolphin getting breakfast.


Those sea shells in the daylight!!


On the way back we stopped at one pullout. I had seen some flamingos just prior so we were hoping we would loop back close to them. No such luck.








Power plant that Butch thought was neat. I just see Three Mile Island or some other disaster.


The port loading a shipping container boat!!


The bridge. Double suspension.

Doctors, doctors, doctors

Today is Pre-op day. TEN appointments

First up Urology - found out WHY I'm getting scoped while in for surgery. They will place stents in the ureter between the kidney and bladder. This is now standard practice as there were cases of snipped ureters in the past. Not good! Good in that they will stent them so they are KNOWN to be what they are and be left alone. Sweet

Next was two different lab works and they were SUPER backed up. In the meantime my schedule had changed and I wasn't aware and I missed my appointment with the genetics group. Whoops!! I had to leave with my labs NOT done.

Genetics saw me anyway. That doc was very odd but very nice. He did tell me that with Dutch background (wasn't Sorensen Dutch?) there is a likelihood of a hereditary factor that they would like to look at. Ok. Fair enough. We will get that blood test on my next trip down. Oh and I have a 70+ year olds colon. He mentioned me getting this young.. blushing...thanks doc but I'm 51... ha. Nope this is an OLD persons disease. Great, just great. I have an old colon, not an old soul 😂 hahahaha

Then on to gastric for diet Dr. they stated they would ask the doctor if we continue the diet. It was a yes (damn them). So order in for more Optifast for when I leave.

I had a few minutes in between to sneak in my blood work. Yay! It was then 12:30 but I had my luke warm coffee with a shake. Yum!!!

1pm was back up to the surgeons office. Well. Dr Landmann still can't say one way or the other if a bag is in my future - will depend on how much they have to remove of the rectum. Pray for a LONG rectum - hahaha. Kidding. Pray for enough room to reconnect. He will start my operation robotically. Let's hope it stays that way and not open. BUT I will live with it either way. Waiting on the nurse for prep instructions for tomorrow. Colon cleanse here we come. Barf.
Oh weird news. They put you back together with staples that stay in forever. News to me. Never even thought to ask.

Then to the nurse for prepping instructions. Joy oh joy. Lots of instructions and cleanse as well antibiotics.

Then on to Ostomy nurse. I got to handle all the products and get to see them up close and personal. Ok. They're not that scary. And I get home health care as well when I get home. I'll get two weeks worth of product to go home with as well. Oh and lovely makings on my tummy 😜 covered in tape and liquid bandages 😄 I think they need to be made into a smiley as I now have two "eyes" in sharpie on my tummy - 😂🤣😂🤣






Yeah the smile is a bit of a smirk 😏 hahah

3pm now. A shake snuck in before my next appointment which which was pre admit....and then up to 5th floor to do admittance stuff..
Nice view.





Pre op nurse was awesome. She had a resection and was telling me to be vocal in my needs. Tell folks to use the antibacterial foam in and out of the room. And pain over a three - aka "man cold" was to warrant pain pills. Ok. Will do.

All nurses looked at me funny when I said that I would remain on the Optifast diet for the duration. It does cause constipation so I will have to be vocal about that as well and be sure I have good drugs (stool softeners in super strength) to work with on that level as well.

So. I'm prepared. Well. Sort of.

Tomorrow is antibiotics and laxatives. Gonna be a poopy day. But that's cool. I'm used to that now - sad to say. Drink lots and see what Friday brings.

Poopy day

Sad and happy day. After being diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer and being put on the Optifast diet to prep for my Lower Anterior Resection. The whole process has played hell with my bowels.

Today is 8 weeks 5 days after diagnosis and 7 weeks on this diet. ADD to this having had THREE colonoscopies in that first month.

And today I have finally had my first "normal" poop in all that time!!

Just in time to go to surgery in 5 days and start training my bowels all over again.

Happy to have finally gotten things to "normal" and sad that I'm so happy about this.

And sad knowing it starts over again in a week. 😄😂😭😄😂😭

Oh well. The silver lining is that I know it's possible to find that sweet spot again even WITH a tumor and a ticked off bowel. With no more tumor in there and better options for adding foods it should all normalize in time!!

Optifast week 7

Depending on when I weigh in, I have lost 37 or 38 pounds. Things have slowed way down from the beginning. I let the nutritionist know and she wasn't concerned so I won't be either. Done stressing over this part 😜

And as for photos. It's all in the angles.


So I noted I had my butt right at the glass edge so I moved forward and the angle was SO much more flattering 😄


And I don't feel one smidge different except I'm hungry all the time and tire a lot quicker.

IKEA on the way home from dropping Angela off was a challenge!! I "tried out" quite a few chairs and thought "hum, yeah come get me in a few" but I trudged on. I only bought $13 worth of stuff!! Shocking!!

College drop off!!

Angela is off to Kennesaw today!! My baby is a college student!!!


All packed up and ready to go!!! Yes she has inherited Bertha and Liz has been relegated back to Steve (the CRV) for the duration - or until she gets a full time job then she am an use him as a trade in. Poor Steve.

College here she comes!!



Angela's room "A" for Angela 😄


Everything dumped in!!



Still a ways to go in decorating but she's getting it all out together. 😄 she'll be home a few weeks from now to get more things from the house and settle in a bit more.

And with that the last child is starting a more independent life 😄

The cyst results are....

The cyst results are in and the stitches are out.

Turns out it was an infected follicle. Deep apparently. Honestly I was concerned over it until it popped. Mystery solved there!! Something wasn't happy and so far none of my cancerous stuff has had puss (ewh!) (ear and bum)

They looked at it, removed the stitches, said Elizabeth did a great job with it and said "let it heal, you're all good." Yay. Done and done.

No antibiotics, just let it heal and do whatever you've been doing (gently). One less thing to worry my pea brain 😀

Things seen on my walk yesterday

Blue heron pretty and BIG





There were about four of them darting across the road.





Do you see her???


Zoom in. She was hanging out in the woods staring at me for a bit

So that cyst....

The one I had biopsies over a week ago? Yeah, Liz put a water proof bandaid on it Saturday so I could finally get in the pool - it was sunny!! I didn't want to get sunscreen on the stitches.

I did my thing, blew off the deck, floated in the pool, brushed down the pool, general, outside stuff for the day. I then went in at dinner and Liz removed the bandaid to let everything breathe again and noted discharge. WTH!? So, being the non-grossed out person she is she squeezed it a bit. All I heard was , ewh and OMG and lots of paper towels were used. Suffice to say the although they didn't drain this thing at the clinic, apparently the core they took weakened the wall and it finally weakened enough and ruptured and contents were released. Yuckie!

Liz worked on it for 1/2 hour then added hydrogen peroxide and bandaged me back up. Overnight we had MORE drainage and it looks like someone stabbed me in the back! So, stitch removal may not go as planned on the 9th!

Oh well, I no longer look like Quasimodo. Ha! (It wasn't that big of a lump!)

Optifast week 6

Maybe the universe is trying to tell me to shut up about my negative feelings. My last post "poof" disappeared. Sigh

I just said I was mad. Mad at the world this week. Mad at my body and the fact that I'm NOT losing weight. I've not budged in two weeks. The worst I've find is a spoon of rice and turkey burger in cream of mushroom - a SMALL spoon mind you. Pinches of things. Just tiny smidges. Tastes of salsa. Really can't add up to more than 5 calories each. No worse than sugar free gum really and I barely chew that anymore because that tooth is NOT fixed. Another point of anger for me.

Everything is just ticking me off. I forgot to get my stupid urine test last week too. Dammit

I'm mad at the work paper trail issues. The frustration that abounds.

I'm tired of having to beg my children to pick up the friggin slack and clean the house they live in and TRASH. I'm just MAD.

Mad I keep getting woken up at the crack of dawn because someone can't stay on their half and kicks or pushes. WTF I can't sleep in anymore.

Just friggen mad!!!!!

So here's the disappointment






Yeah there is a difference from the start. But not much from last week. Sigh. I won't quit. I'll just be pissed for a bit

Small blessings

So today I have had it brought to my attention that I have had a LOT of time to adjust to the idea of this surgery. What it may mean to me with a possible ostomy. With dealing with what that will mean to me. With being able to put in paperwork to be able to telework to save time with no pay. Time to absorb. Time to adjust. Time to process.

There are a LOT of folks out there who don't have this. I have come to the realization that it's been a silver lining in my waiting timeframe.

Small blessings here and there. Little but important things.

So, yeah, waiting has been hard, but a blessing just the same.

Optifast week 5 and 5 days. I Cracked!

Today I cracked (literally?) and ate my emergency meal in place of a shake. Two eggs and 1/2 cup O.j is allowed. I substituted salsa (same calories). 5 weeks 5 days. Good a friggen'nuf. Back at it for the last two shakes today and the next two weeks. I am so over shakes. Movin to Australia so I can have veggies 😂